| What is a
Rock-a-holic? Or more politely, how
does one
recognize one?
|
 |
A
few years ago, I was so seriously addicted to rocking that I began a
Pacific-Rimica's Rockers Group. It was very much a Masonic
construction
and needing many neophytes to contribute to my own rocky collection. I
lost the first page, so I leave it to you to fill in the
blanks. Being German and believing in strong apprenticeship programs, I
developed this vertical structure.
Pebbles -- These were to be the primal seed to my rock lusting greed.
Contribution: A full sacksful or large US.P.S small flat rate box full of rocks collected from their local environments.
Rocks
--
Boulders --
Contribution: Like glaciar polished granite this devotee has now learned how to polish and carve. A 4-5 inch carved Malachite, Orbicular Jasper, Jade, Chrysicola or like. This polished offering would be the next gritty step to becoming a:
Montana Grande --
Contribution: We expect nothing less than climbing the Superstition Mountains in mid-summer, finding the lost Dutchman's goldmine and being generous to all the rest of us. Bringing back a few dead Rattlesnake skins would be worth exta points.
Holy Schist:
Contribution:
A rock collected
from a cataclysmic event. I.e. Rocks of
earthquake spittle -- fissures, or from the calderas of an active
volcano. As we are shy on active Volcano's the committe
might allow for the collecting of Montana Agates
from the Yellowstone Caldera.
As the rock fiend would have to avoid the Park police and
Grizzly bears. A full backpack of material would be needed. Geologists
say it
erupts about every 70,000 to 600,000 years , and is
overdue for a super
eruption by 40,000 years.
Grand Tectonic Plate:
Contribution: This rock must be of extraterrestrial origin, either by a direct meteor hit, or by the gifting of an alien being like Klatu.
Other General Guidelines for the club!
- Due consideration is given for karmic addresses such as Pebble Way, or Boulder CO.
- No applications shall be given for persons living East of the Mississippi River
- We appreciate and grade up applicants for posting genuine and newsworthy events to post to other members.
- Same for posting rock-hunting sites.
- Rock philosophy is greatly appreciated. Ex: "Rub the boulder, never get older," "Quakers make you awaker." Rock Poetry and Spiritually Inspirational offerings are also sought after.
Moreover, Remember Do not Take This Membership For Granited! There are strict rules for Expulsion!
- Any person caught day glowing a rock -
- Attaching accoutrements of plastic eyes on rocks -
- Giving your rock a wardrobe or other obscene acts. -
- Purchasing or manufacturing a rock with artificial materials -
- WILL BE EXPELLED!
Recent News!
GRAND SHIST: Herb "Shining Mountain" Senft
Our
first members are: ROCK William
Simpson WA.
PEBBLES: Jan
Butler,
and Cherie L. Korer of AZ.
|
Major Gritty News!
Due
to the influence of Diablo John Campbell, the Grand Tectonic
Plate has reluctantly stepped down as leader. The fact that his modem
was outdrawn in the final confrontation was mere happenstance. He
simply was outspent!
Herb "Shining Mountain" Senft, formerly the Grand Tectonic Plate is now the be-humbled Holy Schist. Therefore, I implore you, rather than rolling your rocks to John at Stone Rd., please send them to ME!!! (1080 W. Hendrickson Rd. Sequim, WA. 98382) "My middle name" means Beautiful Mountain in German. Maybe it is the Bavarian blood but I will always be on the quest for a beautiful mountain. God bless all of you! Mail to: (1080 W. Hendrickson Rd. Sequim, WA 98382. Suggestions (and Improvements) are always welcome and should be sent to this email address. Edit (2006) for some reason, the Diablo John fled to Santa Barbara, relinquishing his title and his rocks. ©Herb Senft 2003
|
 |